10 Beauty Products For The Lazy

10 Beauty Products For The Lazy

If you’re anything like me, you want to look like Beyonce without having to put the time and energy into actually looking like Beyonce. Thankfully, the world is a magical place and I’ve discovered 10 different products that can help you feel like a spicy mamajuana without needing to put in any real time or effort. YOU’RE WELCOME, LADIES!!

1. St. Tropez Self Tanner

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Okay, I’ll admit it. I’m one of those people who still fake bakes even though it’s not 2000 anymore. Don’t hate a girl because she wants to look tan in the winter! In my defense, St. Tropez has given me the most natural looking tan out of all the tanners I’ve tried yet, and I look pretty damn fabulous. It doesn’t leave you with weird orange skin afterwards and this tanner in particular is perfect for lazy people because the color shows up after just one application and lasts a week long. I’ll admit it’s a liiiiitle pricey, but I promise it’s worth every penny. Don’t let the door hit you on your way out, Jergens Natural Glow! I use the Classic Mousse for $42.

2. Body Blur 

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If you’re not looking to commit to being tan, but you still want some color, this could be for you! Body Blur gives you an immediate tan for one wear and washes off in the shower. It took me maybe 5 minutes to apply all over my body because the liquid is pretty thin, but don’t let that worry you because the color still shows up! It’s also good for hiding streaks and keeping with you on the go! You can find it at the holy mecca, Sephora.

3. Makeup Wipes           900

There’s no worse feeling than being in bed at 3 am and realizing that you still need to take your makeup off, but you’re fresh out of makeup wipes. The beauty of the makeup wipe is that it takes about a minute to remove your whole face with just a little cloth! Do yourself a favor and buy some of these before the next time you hit your head on the sink trying to wash your face after 4 glasses of wine, Beckyps I like to use these from Walgreens! 

4. Stamp-On Eyeliner

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The great thing about winged eyeliner is that it’s sexy and creates a dramatic look. The awful thing about winged eyeliner is that just one shake of your wrist can send eyeliner all over your face. Luckily, someone was looking out for us someone created this stamp eyeliner that will give us the perfect wing in seconds! Stamp eyeliners are basically those markers that you had back in 1st grade that stamped cool shapes, but instead of stamping stars on your friends’ faces, these markers stamp wings for your eyes. They’re a godsend! Get yours from Amazon.

5. Master Contour Stick

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Have you ever wanted to try contouring, but didn’t ever do it because you were clueless on how to? Same! Thankfully, I came across the Master Contour Stick this week and it’s made contouring super easy. The stick is half contour, half highlight, and that’s it. You literally can’t mess up, and it takes just 3 steps to make your face defined and gorgeous(er). Use this chart to help you learn where to apply everything on your face. Try the Master Duo Stick here

6. Kiss Press-On Manicure 

63FD5840-FF34-4CAF-99EA-F0E871201D73.jpegI don’t think I’ve used press-on nails since I was about 12 years old, but I like how these look like something I’d get from a salon at half the price! They come in a lot of different colors, lengths, shapes, and sizes so you can find exactly what you want, too! It took me 30 minutes from start to finish to get all of the nails glued to my fingers, but two days later they are still going strong and they should last up to two weeks! The bad news is that they are terrible for your nails, so you might have to save them for special occasions. Let’s be twins and get yours here!

7. Eyebrow Gel 

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I love this eyebrow brush because it only takes a few strokes to get perfectly groomed and filled brows! You don’t have to spend 20 minutes trying to fill them perfectly, and the look is very natural in the end. This brush is also perfect for people who are losing eyebrow hair or need a little more volume in general. You can try the OG Gimme Brow or a less expensive version that I also love from Wet n’ Wild

8. Sheet Mask 

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I’m sure you’ve seen these all over the internet and social media, but if you haven’t tried a sheet mask yet, boy you’re missing out! Coming up with a good skincare routine takes time, research, and a lot of money which is why I like to use these masks because you can buy ones with different purposes and they always leave my skin feeling soft, tight, and clean. The best part is that you can use them in the bubble bath or while watching your shows. What more do you need than beautifying yourself while watching some Vanderpump Rules drama?! Try my favorite brand from Target!  

9. Makeup Brush Cleaner and Dryer 

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Okay, so I’ve never actually used one of these before, but I really want to because, as all of you ladies probably know, cleaning your makeup brushes takes a lot of time. It’s really messy, the drying part takes an eternity, and you need to do it often. But this lil gadget washes and dries your brushes within minutes! So you shouldn’t have any worries when it’s time to freshen up your bristles again. It’s a lazy girl’s dream! Try the original StylPro cleaner and dryer from Amazon.

10. Magnetic Lashes 

This is an extreme close up of me with the lashes on! 

I saved the best for last! I’ve been obsessed with magnetic lashes lately, and they’re just the same as any other set of false eyelashes except they use magnets to attach to your lash line instead of glue. The major upside of using magnetic lashes is that they take a short amount of time to apply, there’s no mess to clean up if you make a mistake, and you get a natural look almost like lash extensions that you can put on or take off whenever you want! You basically “snap” them on over your real lashes to make them look longer, fuller, etc. FYI: The reviews online aren’t very good, but the more you practice, the better you get at it and the faster you can apply them. It takes me about 3 minutes to apply them both now! My favorite are these from Target!  

Whew! That was a lot of goodness that you just took in. Don’t let me stop you though – GO SHOP GIRL! 

Huggies,

Victoria 

 

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Tips for the Exercise Newbies

Tips for the Exercise Newbies

Howdy, friends!

I’ve come up with a little list of tips for you to use while you start your exercise voyage. I know I definitely struggled with these things when I first began, so if you’re feeling the same way, just know you’re not alone and I’m excited to help you! If you’re not new to exercise but just want to see what this post is all about, try to keep these things in mind as you continue to workout or prepare to start a new routine! Let’s go.

1. Make small, digestible goals and then build on them.

It’s important to not overwhelm yourself in the beginning to avoid things like overexhaustion, burnout, and injury. Try to fast walk, then jog, then run. Try squats without weights, then add weight, then move into weighted squat-kicks. Try to workout twice a week, then three times, then four. Small steps create milestones.

2. Be realistic about your schedule and how often you can exercise.

If you know you can workout on Monday and Thursday nights, but your schedule is hectic for the rest of the week, focus on working out on just those two days. It’s more important to make exercise a habit and commit to working out a couple days a week than to overload yourself and potentially give up in the end. When you don’t have a lot of time, you can workout in small increments throughout the day, even if it’s just for 10 minutes. Make it a goal to to squeeze in more time as you continue to exercise. It’s okay to move slow, as long as you’re moving!

3. Get creative with how you’re going to do your cardio and strength training.

Maybe you want to dance around your house non-stop for an hour instead of jogging. Maybe you want to take a HIIT class instead of doing your usual at-home resistance routine. Maybe your friend is moving and needs your help, so you’ll count that work towards your workout! Try lots of things because there isn’t just one way to exercise, and don’t believe anyone who tells you there is.

4. Start caring about your water intake.

Your body needs water to function, and it especially needs water to function while working out. Download apps like Plant Nanny, Waterlogged. and Gulp to track your water intake.

5. Find a workout buddy!

They can be your best friend, co-worker, mom, coach, personal trainer, or whoever else you want to workout with. Exercising with someone else can help you push yourself further, skip the gym less, try new workouts, and spice up your regular workout routine. Just be sure that the person you choose has similar goals in mind and will hold you accountable. There’s nothing worse than having a friend talk you out of working out instead of into!

6. Avoid crash diets

Avoid them like the plague. Please, for the love of all that is good and true, do not crash diet. I know it’s tempting, but I have seen so many people do it and it never works. You’ll starve your body of nutrients to lose a few lbs but only until you realize the diet isn’t attainable and the weight comes right back. Crash dieting can actually destroy your metabolism, which will screw you over in the long run. My advice: talk to a dietitian. Not a nutritionist (that’s a topic for later) but a registered dietitian. They can help create a diet plan for you, but if a dietitian isn’t exactly in the budget, you can go to websites like choosemyplate.gov to help you make healthier choices.

I hope this helps you guys! I’ve learned all of these things from personal experience, and you’ll figure out what works best for you as you go. Remember that these tips aren’t set in stone either, and if you have any tips from your own experiences, please comment below! I’d love to hear what helps you. 

Talk to you next week!

High fives and chest bumps,

Victoria

Nerd Alert: Basic Physical Activity Guidelines

Nerd Alert: Basic Physical Activity Guidelines

Have any of you guys ever wondered how much exercise you should be doing per week, or are you looking for some guidelines to follow?

If so, let’s talk!

I’ve put together a little list that breakdowns some of the exercise guidelines you should follow per week. All of this juicy information comes from a magical place called the Center of Disease Control and some of the major health benefits of following these recommendations include decreasing the risk of hypertension, type II diabetes, premature death, coronary artery disease, stroke, cancer, and a bunch of other things that we definitely don’t want (which is why it’s super important for us to incorporate exercise into our daily lives, even if we are lazy!)

I know it can be hard to understand what you really need to do in order to be healthy and start losing weight, so I’m excited for you to check out this list and think about how you can incorporate these guidelines into your everyday life.

#1 Do aerobic exercise

  • Complete 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic exercise, 75 minutes of vigorous-intensity aerobic exercise, or a combination of both, per week.
  • Moderate-intensity examples: brisk walking, cycling with light effort, water aerobics
  • Vigorous-intensity examples: jogging, running, aerobic dancing, cycling with heavy effort, HIIT

#2 Strength train

  • Complete strength training twice a week for 30-60 minutes, per session.
  • Include 48 to 72 hours of rest time between strength training sessions to allow your muscles to repair.
  • Exercise each major muscle group – biceps, triceps, deltoids, quadriceps, hamstrings, glutes, abdominals, obliques, etc
  • Exercise ideas: bicep curls, tricep extensions, shoulder raises, squats, bicycle crunches, planks.

#3 Stay hydrated throughout the day

  • Water delivers oxygen, eliminates toxins and waste, lubricates your joints, boosts your immune system, aids in weight loss, and the list goes on! Our organs need water to function properly.
  • Without drinking the amount of water you need per day, you won’t be able to maximize your workout. Dehydration leads to fatigue and can also make you constipated and gain weight. So please, drink your water!
  • You can figure out how much water you need per day and a bunch of other cool things about water here.

#4 Include stretching in your cool down

  • Stretching improves blood circulation, flexibility, range of motion, and performance. Stretching is also great for stress relief, improving your posture, and calming your mind.
  • Stretch each major muscle group and hold for 10-30 seconds (static stretching!)
  • You can find some basic stretches to start with here.

Not so bad, right?

I hope this gives you some clarity if you’re new to exercising or just want to know the facts. I know looking at all of this information can be intimidating and overwhelming, but take each section one at a time and come up with a game plan. Don’t be afraid to make adjustments as you’re figuring it all out, and feel free to reach out to me if you need and help. That’s what I’m here for!

Hugs!

Victoria

My Slump List

My Slump List

Hey, lazy heads.

I’m in a slump. A big ole slump. It feels like my days are going by too quickly and at the end of them I don’t have much to show for myself. It’s been pretty stressful for me, but I need to keep my energy up and positivity a-flowin’.

Now, I don’t have a lot of money to spend on mani-pedis, rounds of shots, movie tickets, spa days, and other super fun activities like that, so I’ve come up with a list of things that I can do at home, fo free, that will make me feel pretty darn good! I’m going to force myself to do all of them this week so I can keep my spirits up and stress levels low, and maybe you’ll want to join in on the list or make you own! Everyone needs one, tbh.

Victoria’s Chill The F*ck Out List

  1. Have a 30 minute dance party to Earth, Wind, and Fire to cleanse my soul
  2. Watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and pretend I’m also rich
  3. Put on one of those paper face masks and lay in a bubble bath up to my neck
  4. Read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and practice not giving them
  5. Go to Target in my pajamas and buy something festive from the $1 section just cause’
  6. Scoot on one of those Bird scooters down the street and back
  7. Practice contouring because I’ve always wanted to know what my face would look like
  8. Do ‘Yoga with Adrienne’ in my living room to cleanse my soul again
  9. Come up with my own crock pot recipe to show the haters what’s up
  10. Choreograph a dance-based fitness routine so I can nail an interview and impress all of my friends
  11. Go to the dog park and make new dog friends
  12. Teach my dogs the trick where I “bang” and they fall down
  13. Take a nap to the fake sound of thunder on my noise machine
  14. Try peach schnapps because it sounds gross but maybe it’s good?
  15. Write down 10 things I like about myself and give myself a hug
  16. Give myself a manicure but pretend I’m the customer so maybe I’ll try harder to do a better job
  17. Watch Anthony Bourdain Parts Unknown and feel all of the feels in pitch black darkness
  18. Eat a whole pint of Halo Top
  19. Watch that crazy Shane Dawson documentary on Jake Paul and question if my friends are also sociopaths
  20. Add to my list when I think of more good ideas

So, that’s what I’ll be working on this week! I hope this inspired you to make a list of your own and do something fun for yourself. Brainstorming and making these fun lists really does help me find different ways to relax and try something new. But now I’m too lazy to keep writing so I’m off to go take a bubble bath, slap on a face mask, and watch some RHWOBH at the same time because I’m freaking innovative 👊

Toodles and poodles!

Victoria

Nomilicious Mexican Casserole – A Slow Cooker Recipe

Nomilicious Mexican Casserole – A Slow Cooker Recipe

Hi, lazy kids!

Today I want to share my new favorite slow cooker meal that I got from a blog called Well Plated. It’s a Mexican casserole made with wholesome ingredients like bell peppers, beans, quinoa, tomatoes, lean turkey, etc. and it will basically send your tastebuds on a warm journey to food heaven. It’s pretty damn good, and tis’ the season for bundling up and eating warm, delicious casserole. Right?

Right.

Anyways, slow cooker meals are perfect for lazy people like ourselves because all you have to do is:

  1. Chop up some ingredients (look out for your fingers)
  2. Dump everything into your slow cooker
  3. Add some spices and extra flavor goodies
  4. Wait for a few hours.

That’s literally it! Now you have a mouthwatering meal that can feed a family of five with room for seconds, or just yourself if you really love soup! So, get ready to trick everyone you know into thinking you worked really hard to make this casserole when we all know you just used a slow cooker.

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This is the one I made.

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This is from Well Plated, obviously much better looking than mine.

(UPDATE): I had to take down the original recipe because I’m no good at reading policies and legalities…but if you’re still interested in checking out the recipe click here to access the Well Plated page. I promise it’s worth peeking at!

If you’re looking for a slow cooker as well, I’ve listed a few options below. You can find most of these at Target and/or on Amazon!

Happy slow cooking!

Chest bumps and high fives,

Victoria

Make Your Own Home Gym (Under $100!)

Make Your Own Home Gym (Under $100!)

Today I have a post for all of you lazy guys and gals out there that are interested in creating your own home gym and need a good place to start. As your Lazy Godmother, I’ve put together a list of five basic items that you can buy from Amazon to make it all yourself, and the best part is you don’t even need to leave the house (well, you might need to walk to the mailbox but that’s half the battle). So clear out a little corner in your living room because we are going shopping!

Yoga Mat

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You’ll have a comfy space to do crunches in front of your TV in no time. Just be sure to pick the color you want! Get yours here for $11.99-$16.99.

Resistance Bands 

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Don’t resist getting these for yourself. See what I did there? They await you right here for $13.99.

Exercise Ball

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It’s an exercise ball and a giant bouncy ball. What more do you need? Oooo, they come in pretty colors, too! Get it here for $19.95.

Dumbbells 

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You’ll be swole and getting gains in no time with these puppies, bruh. #yeet? Get a pair of 8 pounders here for $24.99.

Foam Roller 

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After using all of this equipment, your muscles will need a nice massage. Don’t starve them of their needs and get one already! $13.12.

And voila! There’s your starter home gym! Only five pieces for under $100 and you’ll still have some money leftover to buy that avocado slicer you’ve always wanted. Wasn’t that short and sweet?

All of these items are easy to use, effective, and will help you get your workout in comfortably and at a low cost. If any of you buy these items, be sure to leave a comment below and tell me about how you like them or leave questions so I can help you out. Now GET 👏TO 👏WORK 👏!

 

Peace sign and duck face,

Victoria

Little Life Update

Little Life Update

Hi, lazy butts!

Today I’m excited to write my first ever ‘diary’ entry.  None of this has been pre-drafted, so I’m just letting it all flow as I feel it.

My life has been changing along with the seasons, and I’ve been reluctant to share a big change that’s recently happened to me because I feared the judgement that I’d face, but I’m going to do it anyways. I quit my job!

Yes, I quit my job! And no, I didn’t line another one up before I put in my notice.

I know you’re all thinking “What?! Victoria, I knew you made stupid decisions, but to quit a job without another lined up? That’s just straight dumb.” You do have a point, it’s not the best decision I’ve ever made, but it was the right one for me.

I used to feel like I needed to have a better explanation for making my decision, but I’ve realized that being truly unhappy is reason enough to leave a job that stopped fulfilling me. And I’m not talking about being unhappy with waking up at 7am, commuting long distances, going to meetings, having to do actual work, or anything like that because those are things that are inherent to working. You simply can’t avoid those things, and I know this! I’m talking about being unhappy with a negative work environment, unfair treatment, no more room for growth, and the general direction that my mental health was going in (aka, downhill).

Now, I don’t want to go into all of the details because that will probably bore you, so to make a long story short, I simply came to a point where I had to say “enough is enough” and leave something toxic. And it’s honestly been one of the best decisions I’ve made in awhile (unlike the decision I made to drink wine after brushing my teeth, that was a bad decision)!

I wanted to share this life update because I know I’m not the only twenty-something year old in this position and if you’re feeling the same way that I am, I’m totally with you. It’s taken me waaaayyy too long to realize this, but just like a relationship, if your job is bringing you more misery and stress than happiness, it’s probably time to look elsewhere. Like most of us, I was raised to go to school, get a degree that pays well, find a job, and follow that path until I retire 40 years later. Simple as that.

…But I’ve quickly found out it’s not so simple. Life will create change and sometimes we have to hop off the path that we perfectly carved for ourselves to be a little gypsy until we find what truly fulfills us. And that’s okay. Far too often we forget to put ourselves first and I really hope that will change.

On a brighter note, I’ve grown tremendously from this experience and now I’m a happier person than I’ve been in a long time. I’m also still a personal trainer (plot twist, bet you thought I still didn’t have a job!), but I’m also chasing after different dreams that I’ve never had the time or courage to chase. Maybe I want to be a PE teacher, or a yoga instructor, or a nurse, or even start my own business. Basically, what I’ve learned from my 23 years of life on this planet is that sometimes the path you want to follow doesn’t come to you in just one form. Which sounds super cheesy, and reading it back again it doesn’t really make sense because the Woodbridge pinot noir is starting to take over this post, but I do believe that you can have multiple callings in life. There’s nothing wrong with being lost in your twenties, and if you feel lost, that might actually be a good thing.

TL;DR

It’s never too late to make a change. If your gut is telling you to revise something in your life then you should do just that. Revise it. Revise the crap out of it. Face the problem head-on and be honest with yourself. Yes, change is scary, and yes, the decision you end up making might not be the easiest one, but it could be the best one you ever make. You deserve nothing but happiness, and it’s time to start putting yourself first.

I hope this diary entry didn’t bore you to death because I really don’t want to be responsible for all 5 of my followers dying. I hope that it brought a little inspiration to your day instead! Remember, my metaphorical door is always open to you birds if you want to talk, and please don’t be too harsh on the grammatical errors in this post because it’s a diary entry and PINOT NOIR AND I WRITE THE WAY WE WANT TO. Deal with it.

Talk to you butt heads soon!

Hugs, hugs, and more hugs,

Victoria